Nine days ago I received and accepted a position with the Walt Disney Company for a second program in the College Program, and I have been riding the high that came with the email since then! Since I returned to Iowa in August, I have been homesick for the place that taught me about happiness and real magic, about bravery and adventure. It's hard to believe that after the heartbreak and uncertainty, I really get to go back.
In the last six months, I have applied and been denied for the Spring Program, a set-back that felt like a personal failure. I have experienced heartache at the loss of someone I cared for greatly, and the future of our relationship is yet uncertain. I have applied for (and received) but had to turn down a part-time position with the very same company I have missed desperately, realizing that not everything can be forced. I have made things for difficult for myself, I have learned some hard lessons, and I have been granted the privilege of my life to go back to where I feel I need to be.
Some will say that I am not doing the right thing, that I need to buckle down and finish my time here at school. To those people, I ask if you have ever followed your heart or your gut to somewhere unexpected? I don't mean this in a rude or condescending way, but rather from a truly curious human to another. Have you never felt a longing for a place or a season of life or even a person, something so undeniable that makes you wonder if you really should drop everything and go? Have you ever stopped your life to follow that feeling? Maybe if you haven't followed that feeling, or if you haven't experienced it, then you cannot relate to where I am, and maybe the temptation will be to pass it off on my youth and inexperience. Yes, I am 23. I am young, wild, kind of flighty, and fighting for my independence, but I have learned and I know beyond a doubt that things have a way of working out the way they are supposed to. I am following a feeling that is telling me to push onward and chase this dream. Maybe I'll arrive and realize it was all a mirage, that my last program was as perfect as it will ever be, and I can return home in January having not lost anything. Maybe I'll realize I have made a huge mistake and self-term and come home early. Maybe it will take me 5-7 years before I finish my degree because I'm sick of making magic with Disney. Just maybe, I will find my happiness and my purpose at a company that brings joy to every life it touches. I cannot see the future, but I can listen to the Universe and I can follow my heart and trust that everything that happens will happen in its own perfect timing, for a set purpose.
However, I have been so caught up in getting away from here and getting there, that I have forgotten the things I will be leaving behind when I go. I never expected to miss HyVee, but the other night at work, I told one of my managers about leaving and he made a comment about how everyone likes me there. It suddenly hit me that the people I was so nervous to get to know will be people that I genuinely am sad to leave behind. Sitting here at Smokey Row this evening I realized that I will be leaving my writing space and my favorite tea behind as well (I'm making a mental note to find a cafe ASAP upon arrival).
While this place is my home, Disney is where my heart resides. I have never felt a pull quite as strong as the one that is guiding me back there, and I intend to follow this string until the end of the line. My only hope is that I will find contentment in my journey. That I can continue to give my worries and trepidation to the Universe and trust in the greater powers that be. This second chance is sure to be meaningful and full of synchronicities, overflowing with lessons and memories made, and I just want to be able to take it all in and appreciate every moment- high, low, and in-between.
So here's to Walt, to his dream and mine, to the future, and to magic!
Yeah, you learn to fly and if you can't then you just free-fall. May we all...
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