Firsts

So this past Saturday I enjoyed a few firsts. I went on my first ever real date and I had my first ever real kiss. Despite all that has been going on for the last month or so, that one night was a bright spot in the darkness.

I mentioned the Christensen family in my last post, they are the owners of the business I worked with for Ragbrai. Their son Keaton was on the trip this past week and he was the one who asked me out. I must say, it took him long enough to get to it, but it finally did happen.

There's not much to talk about, we only went out to a movie, but he did pick me up, he met my dad, and he opened my car door for me. He also paid for my ticket and my drink. He waited until the movie was almost over to start holding my hand and then he put his arm around me, and it wasn't until we were back in the car after the movie that he kissed me. When he pulled away, he said to me "Man, I have been waiting to do that all week long." He drove me home and we sat in my driveway for another 15 minutes and then he walked me to my door and kissed me goodnight.

I thought that things had gone great. He hadn't tried to go for more and I really appreciated that. We had a good time I thought, we laughed and joked around. One of the reasons I started crushing on him during Ragbrai was because he listens to country music just about as much as I do if not probably more, so to me the whole "farm boy" thing was a major plus.

Maybe it was because I told him it was my first kiss, or maybe meeting my dad was too much. I don't know what it was, though I really wish I knew. There's nothing worse than thinking something went great and having it turn out the opposite. If the date was awful, I could have walked away knowing it wasn't going anywhere. But why would this guy sit in the car and kiss me for 15 minutes and walk me all the way to my door to kiss me goodnight if it meant absolutely nothing. I told a friend that maybe kissing people and going on dates doesn't mean as much as it once did.

One thing is for sure, in this current age, social media becomes the tool to hide behind. Instead of sitting around for the last four days and wondering if I'll hear from him again, I would much rather have received a text that said "hey, I don't think this will work out, but thanks for the date!" I mean, I could respect that and I could move on. Now I'm stuck here between "do I confront him to know for sure" or "do I just let it go and assume I know the answer." The worst part of all of this is that he works Ragbrai and he works market, so there's no way I'll be able to avoid him in the future if I ever work either of those things.

I had a great time. It was a great first date and a great first kiss. I don't want those things to be ruined, I want to look back on those in the future and be able to say "I'm glad he wasn't a total creeper, that was all really nice." But overall, I want to be able to work with everyone and not have any problems. Does anyone know the protocol for a one-date working relationship? Do I act totally cool like it never happened? Do I ignore him completely? I guess I should be thankful that it didn't go further, as in more dates, because that would have probably strained my relationship with Brooke and the others.

I have found over the past few days, and the last week especially, that I want to reach out to Brooke and talk to her. When I went to market last Saturday, I ended up spilling everything to her about my parents and she was really great about it. I'm kind of looking to her like a sister, and she's not acting like that's weird. She encouraged me to talk to her if I needed someone. So I want to be thankful that I can have that relationship. I want to be thankful that things haven't taken a worse turn.

I think that the reason this particular guy has thrown me for such a loop is because of everything else I've been going through. He is this farm boy, this gentlemen, this guy that makes me laugh. We have the same sense of humor, the same taste in music, and we can talk easily- mostly because we're both pretty sarcastic. This guy is the kind of guy I've thought about dating, and in this particular time in my life, he was kind of a light in the darkness. In the middle of everything, I thought that maybe if I was having a bad day, he could come get me and take me away for a bit. He could be my escape. I just wanted someone to hang out with, someone who cared about me and just me. Someone who was mine and I was theirs. Just for a little bit.

Obviously, it's better for so many reasons that things aren't working out- the relationships I have with the other Christensen's being first. And maybe he only ever did want sex, but he was just patient. Maybe he realized that if that was my first kiss, it was probably my first everything and he didn't want to deal with that. Maybe I was too young- only a three year difference really. Maybe maybe maybe. I have to stop blaming myself though, because here's the ultimate reason that would have put a stop to any long-term relationship: no matter how far I am from God right now, I know that I could never be with someone who didn't love Jesus. I couldn't live my life forever the way that I have been living it now, and I know my friends wouldn't let me either.

None of that means that it doesn't hurt, that it doesn't sting. I can sit here and know that a week ago today we were flirting with each other, and that four days ago he kissed me and told me he had been waiting to do that for a while. I can sit here and feel the butterflies when he held my hand because it had been so long since someone had paid attention me like that. He obviously was interested for some period of time, and I'm trying so hard not to wonder if it was something I did, because that doesn't matter. I'm struggling a bit here and I just want to be okay with this. I have to make it okay.

RAGBRAI 2014

This past week, I worked with a small business to bring breakfast food to some Ragbrai riders. We worked in 6 towns Sunday through Friday, were up before 3:30 most days, and walked away from several minor injuries and one car accident. But I'm getting ahead of myself, so let me start from the beginning.

I worked at the Iowa State Fair last year through the Iowa Fruit and Vegetable Growers Association, and the woman who was my day manager is one of the owners of the business that did Ragbrai. Breakfast Delights sells a small variety if breakfast items, those of which I have tried has been pretty amazing- try the french toast the next time you're down at the farmers market! This past Spring, Brooke offered me a chance to work with Breakfast Delights and I took the opportunity. I knew a little of what I was getting into- long days, busy lines, and early mornings- but I had no idea just how overall fulfilling my trip would actually be.

We left on a Saturday afternoon from Brooke's home in Johnston with a truck and trailer, a small SUV, and 9 people in our caravan. After about two hours of driving, we met up with the rest of our crew and gained another truck towing a trailer and our huge refrigerated truck- the reefer. With four vehicles, two trailers, and 14 people, we headed to a town just outside of Hull, IA. Bedtime was about 10 o'clock, the latest that it would be for any of the nights.

With four hours of sleep under our belts, we headed out at 2:30 am- you read that right- and drove about half an hour to Hull. We passed through Sioux Center on the way and right past Dordt. That was a little bittersweet for me, I won't deny it. We arrived shortly after 3 and began set up soon after that. I had been warned that day 1 would be the toughest because no one really knew what was going on or where anything was. Set up took us two and a half hours that day, and by comparison, our shortest set up was about 30 minutes in Nora Springs.

One of the things that will stick out to me about this trip are the injuries that I managed to acquire throughout the week. You may be thinking that that seems like an insignificant memory to keep, but you'd be surprised. At 4 am on day one, I caught my right ankle on the rolling bracket that the fridge sits on, all steel and sharp corners. I threw a bandage on it and moved on, it wasn't anything too serious. By the end of the week, I had run into that God-forsaken fridge every single day, except for Friday, but that's a note for later on.

Hull went well that day, we were fairly busy and people fell into their rolls easily. I was in charge of condiments. "Would you like cheese, salsa, or sour cream on that? How about strawberries or whipped cream on the french toast?" Yes, I did tangle my words and asked if people wanted eggs on their eggs, and once or twice I may have put strawberries on the eggs, but for the most part, I had my job down pat. I was a regular pro at slingin' those toppings!

Tear down that afternoon was so excruciatingly slow, all I wanted to do was get in the car and leave. Eventually we did, and after some much needed reorganization I must say, but it still took us about 3 hours. We drove through to Spencer and stayed in a hotel with a king size bed and pull out couch for two nights- that detail is not so important to anyone but me, because without the little trigger pieces, the whole week is one huge blur and days and events run together pretty easily. You don't know how many times I've sat here and picked through each day trying to separate them out. The next day was spent in Terrill, IA and brought more good business. For whatever reason, I can't remember much at all about this day. I know that we were set up right down the street from a huge line of porta-potties, but that's all I have. Some memory, huh? We stayed in Spencer that night as well and that evening our crew ate dinner together at a local Bar and Grill where I was able to show off my amazing talent of tying cherry stems with my tongue. That was also the first night that Brent- Brooke's father and also co-owner, had to travel 3 hours to Albert Lea with the reefer because it wasn't operating up to par.

The next morning, Tuesday, we shipped off for Bancroft, IA. We had cut set up time down to about an hour or slightly less. Everyone was meshing well, but the morning was dragging a bit. The way Ragbrai is set up, there are designated breakfast and lunch towns along the route. Since we serve breakfast food, it's obvious that we would try to get set up in breakfast towns. For whatever reason, we were unable to do that for Tuesday and instead we ended up in Bancroft, the lunch town. While there were plenty of bikers throughout the day, we just didn't have the business because no one wanted breakfast food. It was hit or miss, and we missed. This did give the crew a bit of downtime though and it gave us all a chance to bond a bit. This was also the day I stood with my right shoulder in the sun from 5:30 to noon, so that afternoon I had a pretty good sunburn. By this time in the week, I had tripped over the fridge a handful of times and cut my fingers on the metal pans at least twice. I also touched a hot sterno that day and burned my fingers. Besides all of that, this was also the day that I got my picture taken with Dallas Clark, former tight end for the Iowa Hawkeyes and Indianapolis Colts. I honestly had no idea who the guy was, but the fact that he was Iowa raised and had played for an NFL team was cool enough for me.

Myself, Dallas Clark, and Meg. And that's Brent in the background making the face; he probably wouldn't be pleased that I didn't crop him out.

After tear down that day we headed to our third hotel of the week which happened to be the Country Inn and Suites across the parking lot from the barn rest stop near Albert Lea that the South Dakota trips would always stop at. That too was a little bittersweet to be so close to former memories, and yet miles and years away. We all ate at Burger King that night and then we went bowling. Brent and his wife Joni missed this time as well because they were making the second return trip with the reefer which still hadn't been fixed. Bowling was a good time though because we managed to find an old shady place in the tiny town of Norwood. We hung out for a couple hours and played some pool as well. Most everyone went to bed early as usual that evening but Meg and myself hung out in one of the guys' rooms until about 10 o'clock. Maybe not our best choice, considering we only got about 5 hours of sleep, but I think it was worth it getting to know everyone a little better.

Clear Lake was our destination for Wednesday and it was a gorgeous spot. It was a lunch town again, but we had steady business. We were set up next to some hippy pizza makers, ones that we were convinced shouldn't have passed inspection, and we had a little drama with a vendor two spots down early in the day, but it was a good one that passed quickly. This was every one's down day I think too, because the mood took a tangible dip. The car ride back to the hotel that afternoon was spent releasing anger and complaining. I found it actually worked quite well and was fairly therapeutic. We ate at the casino buffet attached to our hotel that evening and a small group went to play softball. The most memorable part of that day was when the older boys found a broken golf ball and decided to break it apart with the bat. Kris pitched to Keaton, and the ball didn't shatter, but instead flew all the way to the outfield where it got stuck on the fence on the crack.

Keaton's golfball. I thought this picture turned out pretty awesome in general.

Our next morning, now Thursday, was the only day we got to sleep past 3:30, but perhaps we should have been up earlier. We managed to make a wrong turn or underestimate the amount of time it would take us to get to Nora Springs and we arrived shortly before 5:30, which was usually about the time we were ready to start serving food. Set up that day was lightening paced and we were ready to go no later than 6:00- pretty impressive if you ask me! Since we had been in lunch towns the past two days, we had stayed later. The delay in set up didn't help either. On top of everything, Nora Springs was only about 10 miles out from the starting point so no one wanted to stop yet. It wasn't a great day for business and the customers seemed to be a little extra sassy, but for whatever reason I think the crew really had fun that day. We packed up around 11 which seemed way too early, at at a Pizza Ranch for lunch, and we drove to Waterloo where we checked into a beautiful Holiday Inn & Suites. That evening the crew relaxed and prepared for the final push on Friday.

So here's where I'm going to stop and do short summary of injuries. By this point, we have one day left in Tripoli, Iowa. I have caught my ankles on the fridge about 10 times, I have rolled my ankle, fallen, skinned my knee, cut my fingers on pans about 3 times, burned my fingers on a sterno, endured a nice sunburn, and stubbed my toes in the pool. My goal for Friday at this point is to not be injured, or at least not run into that fridge.

This picture doesn't even really do the scrapes and bruises justice. Trust me though, they look pretty hardcore!

We left from Waterloo around 3:50 and headed on our ride into Tripoli (which by the way is pronounced Trip-poll-ah, much like how some people say Missoura instead of Missouri). It was already raining and we were prepared for another bad business day, but we were determined to arrive early and make the most of it. Six miles out from our destination at 4:45 am, as the last car in our caravan made a corner, another car rear ended the Highlander. It hit the left rear corner and spun our car 180 degrees. Myself, Meg, Heather, and Nate were all in the car at the time of the accident but every single one of us walked away without major injury. My elbow looked like it had carpet burn and Meg developed a baseball sized bruise on her lower back. You may think that we were crazy to move on and continue with set up that day, but I think everyone just wanted to redeem the morning. Rain or not- and there was plenty of it, we were going to finish strong. The car accident is a whole other blog post for another time, but it was certainly relevant here, and vital to the telling of this particular story. When our car finally arrived in Tripoli, it was around 5:30 again. We waited around for 30 or 45 minutes for the rain to decide what it was doing, and finally we set up shop. From 7:30-10:30, we were poured on. We had many customers, which honestly surprised me, and we had wet everything. At 11, we had most everything torn down and we all looked like drowned rats, but here's the best part: despite my car accident I did not run into that fridge at all on Friday. In fact, I wasn't injured by anything related to our actual business. I'm going to go ahead and call that a win.

We headed out at noon, and made it back to Des Moines around 4:30. Aside from the car accident, which I could have done without, I had a great week. I really did. The early mornings, the aches and pains, the long hours on my feet. It was all worth it for the people I met and the memories I made. I will remember the night we played softball and the night we went bowling. I will remember meeting Dallas Clark. I will remember all of the goofy jokes and sarcastic comments we made to each other on four hours of sleep. I will remember rolling our eyes and laughing at customers or vendors that got a little high and mighty, That's how I know that I'm a people person. When I can come out of the other side of a week like this past one and know that forgetting all of the bad things means forgetting all of the memories made. It truly is amazing how well people can get along when you share the common theme of sleep deprivation.

I know this post was long, but I wanted to write it down before I forgot. It was already starting to fade and blur, and my first Ragbrai with Breakfast Delights should at least be noted, if not held dear.

Obviously, this one includes some of the pictures from above, but I made this Thursday night as a small tribute to the little things I had gathered and thought noteworthy throughout the week.