A Formal Apology

To those who have met me and know me:
I apologize to you today because I realize what a terrible model of Christ I have been. I realize that some of you may not even know that I believe in God because my actions have been so far from being Christ-like. To those that do know what I believe, I apologize for being yet another hypocritical Christian who holds others to standards that I myself to not abide by. I have faults as any human does and I am going to continually fall, but in this moment I feel the need to apologize to you and to God for being selfish, self-serving, and for blatantly disregarding what I know to be truth. I have lost my way in the past weeks from continually falling into sin and while I understand that from some, that may not be a familiar concept, it is very real for me and I feel the effects daily. I ask your forgiveness for not being the example that I should always strive to be. For some, I know that I have stained my reputation in a way that cannot be reversed, and though I am undeserving, I ask for your understanding as I try to be a better picture of the love and grace that I have always known through Christ.

What I Have Been

Finals week is fast approaching with just 6 whole days to go. I'm not sure exactly where this semester has gone or how things got so far away from me. A lyric from a song plays through my head: "I don't even know myself at all..." reminding me that I have fallen short of so many expectations that I had for myself and that I know others had for me. I entered into this fall with the hopes that I would excel academically, that I would experience more exponential growth in Christ, and that I would finally find a direction to point my efforts regarding a career. Even writing this much gives me knots in my stomach because as much as I deny it, it pains me to know what my semester has consisted of. The first few weeks were good- easy schedule, interesting classes, meeting new people. It was anew semester and things looked bright. Salt was going great and I had a great connection group. In September, I found Phi Beta Chi- a non-facility Lutheran based sorority on campus. I had given up thinking that a sorority was in God's plan for me, so finding this group was a total blessing. I fell in love with the girls and I felt like I made immediate connections. I received a bid from them after 2 weeks of informal recruitment and became an active member last month. My new sisters and the legacy I now take on fills me with joy. I can't wait to do great things through and with this organization and I do believe it was and is a gift from God. The only downside I have experienced so far because of the sorority was that I could no longer attend the connection group I was a part of. The girls I had met within the first month of school were so sweet and genuine, but other plans were in the works. I think from a lack of motivation on my part and also thinking that I could hold my own without that group outlet, I have failed to get reconnected to another group and I think this was a key in my downfall this semester. I reached a point in October where I was blatantly disregarding what I knew to be honoring to God. I knew the right choice to make, and I did the opposite. I talked with a good friend and she helped to encourage me; I was convicted because I came to her to confess. I attended the Salt retreat thinking that I would have a breaking moment; that I would fall to my knees and repent. The retreat was really great, and I heard a lot of inspiring things, but I never had that moment. Not a literal or a figurative one. I was fully aware of my sin and my defiance, but I didn't want to change badly enough. I'm to the point where I'm aware of what I'm doing but I just don't care.
So here's the rough stuff; the stuff I don't want to admit to. The stuff that I don't want the people who matter to know about. I've been proud to say that up to this point I have not drank. It was a personal choice and it was a standard that I held myself to. I was going to wait until I was 21. However, through the course of this semester, I have been actively throwing my standards aside for lesser things. I'm cursing again, and I find joy in temporary and meaningless outlets. Three weeks ago, I tried my first alcoholic drink. This past weekend I tried my second, and on Saturday I actually had a whole drink on my own. I didn't get drunk and I didn't make any stupid decisions, besides the one to drink in the first place. And at the time, my mindset was "Why not? One drink won't mean anything." But it did, and it does, because people who know that I don't drink, know that I did. One of them said "Wait, you're drinking tonight??" and another asked "Why don't you drink?" to which I answered by holding up my cup of wine as if to say "I am now," shrugging, and saying "It's just usually not my thing." I'm angry at myself mostly because I don't understand what possessed me to get to that point. No one was pressuring me to drink, no one was even asking me to try anything. I straight up decided one my own that it was a thing I was going to do; it was something I was going to throw away after almost 20 years. 
"It happened. You can't change that now. So many people do it." Yeah, but I wanted to be one of the ones that didn't. Last year I came how close to giving in multiple times, and for whatever reason, this year was the kicker. I could probably blame it on the people at work who keep making comments about how I'll need a "practice run" before I turn 21. Or I could blame my new friends in my sorority. I could blame it one the people I've met in Friley this year. I could place the actual blame on so many different people or sources, but the truth is that I made this decision and I have to live with the knowledge that I let myself down when I compromised my values.
I haven't been guarding my heart, or others' either. I have chased attention and I have looking for fulfillment in all of the wrong places. I have sought attention from several guys, most of which were failed attempts. But now, I do have the attention that I was so desiring, and I'm angry. I know my own motives and I know it's not fair to this guy. He's not a Christian and even in my deplorable state, I know that dating someone who doesn't love Jesus would be damaging to me in more ways than I could count. So it's not fair to this guy who obviously likes me to keep him going when I have no intention of ever making it long-term. He's nice and he hasn't tried to pull anything on me, which I appreciate, but he curses and drinks and he's an overall bad influence on me if I want to be on the right path. I know that if I am to be married in the future, God will have a man prepared for me who loves Christ more than himself or me. I don't understand why I seek this attention when I know how empty it is. And isn't it a sign that it's wrong when I seek it, but feel uncomfortable the moment that I receive it? It hasn't been a year since I broke up with my ex. My heart is not ready for this relationship or any relationship. And I already feel a little trapped by whatever this is. So if i know these things, why do I actively search for it? Why did I try so hard to gain the attention?
I'm so broken and so empty and I'm sick of it. I want to be happy again. I want to be genuinely full of Christ and I want to change, so why can't I seem to find the motivation? Why do I revert to this?

Nick Miller is Not Your Dream Guy

I've been watching New Girl recently and I have to say that I LOVE the stupid show. The one liners, the banter, the situations they all get into- its my kind of humor apparently because every episode nearly has me in tears from laughing. If you're not familiar with the show, I'll give you a quick recap: Jess, Zooey Deschannel, finds her boyfriend cheating and so sets out to look for a new place to live. She stumbles across a Craig's List ad for a few guys looking for a fourth roommate, assuming they were all gay. The guys are all very much hetero, and while they debate over whether or not to let a woman live with them, they ultimately decide in her favor. The rest of the show is about everyone's quirks and how they all come together to make one big crazy family- sorry, that was cheesy. About halfway through Season 1, the audience begins to root for Jess and one of the guys to get together. Enter: Nick Miller- or, Jake Johnson. He's handsome, he's funny, and he has this "protective" thing for Jess that is just SO cute. You basically can't help but want these two together, mostly because they are at odds most of the time, but you know they would be great together because of that. There, New Girl in a nut shell.

So what's not to love about Nick Miller, you ask? I mean, he seems totally great! Well, I will tell you. First of all, we have to remember that this is secular TV, so the shows are more often than not based around sex- innuendos, the act itself, everything- including this one. Nick, Jess, and the rest of the characters hook up regularly- or they try. 

So strike one, Nick sleeps around and he's a flirt. In the real world, you DON'T want that guy. He's going to flirt with other girls, even if you're "together" and he's probably not truly invested in the relationship. Not only is that kind of icky, but it's a fairly good sign that he doesn't have any respect for God or the Truth.** This guy is only looking for one thing. Yeah, you know what it is.

Strike two, Nick Miller is a drunk. And so are the other guys. In the show, it's funny. They get into hilarious situations and everyone is always laughing and having a good time. But let's think about real life for a second: a man who gets drunk often is not a man you want to be around. He's likely to be more violent and he's not always going to be the "happy go lucky" kind of drunk. On top of that, it's another sign that he has no respect for God or even you.

Strike three, Nick Miller is a hopeless romantic. Wait...that's a downside? Well, yes. In the show, Nick is kind of like a teddy bear. He's openly emotional, especially when he drinks, and he falls for the girls he hooks up with very quickly. He's even had a long-lasting thing for Jess, which is kind of endearing. But now let's think- a guy who is overly attached and falls for every girl he dates? That's not really that attractive. That's just annoying. And don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with a man showing emotion. After all, Jesus himself wept, but it is also important to be in control of your emotions. Letting those run rampant in your life are not productive.

So there ya have it. Nick Miller may seem like a dreamy, sweet, romantic kind of guy. And maybe he IS perfect for Jess, but we have to remember its a fictional show, and we shouldn't actively chase after that kind of guy. As women we are called to follow God, first and foremost, and if a guy should come into our lives, he should be a strong believer, a promising and active spiritual leader, and someone who will be loyal. Remember: Nick Miller is NOT your dream guy, Jesus is.

**Side note: I'm not saying that if you find a man who loves God, but he's not a virgin, you should dump him. God works in all ways. Just one example is Bathsheba and how God changed her heart and used her for His people. If you believe a guy is truly after God's heart, that is what matters.

Discipleship and Giving Back

God has been teaching me so much lately, I honestly feel like I am in a season of lots of growth and I am loving it. Going to Grace for youth group in high school was great, and I was able to learn a lot of foundational things for my faith. I was also blessed with many opportunities to serve and give back to the community. Since starting school up in Ames, I've been able to get connected with Cornerstone Church and The Salt Company and I absolutely love it up there. Every single sermon, Sunday morning or Thursday evening, seem to hit me and make me reevaluate where I am in life and things that I could change or work on. I have never connected so well to the worship, and I can't get enough of it. This past school year was a huge season of growth for me as well, and I love being able to look back and see all that God has done through and with me.
Looking at the past few weeks and just the few messages that I've been able to hear at Ethos- the college ministry at Grace- I've become consumed with the idea of discipleship and how to give back. I may not connect as well with Grace anymore as I did in the past, but the church is still my family and Cornerstone is too. I owe it to the family of God to give back what I have been taught. I have been feeling a little on the outside of things too recently, and a friend encouraged me to find a way to plug back in. He suggested that since I've been receiving so much information, I should find a way to pour that back into someone else. At first I was thinking that that wasn't the answer to my problems- I was feeling left out in my own social groups. Sometime around there, I heard a challenge from a friend, and it was that if we are followers of Christ and growing in Him, it is our biblical call to pour into others. We are called to be mentors and disciple-makers, as well as spread the good news of the Gospel. I think this fall I'm going to apply for Salt leadership, which will give me the opportunity to lead a group of girls in Bible study. I think I might also apply to be a Cyclone Aide, which is a student ambassador to current and incoming freshman. I really feel the call to leadership, and ever since I stopped being drum major I have felt something missing. I'm scared though, scared that I am not prepared enough or a good enough example for those around me.
God has been teaching me patience and trust in this time though, two things I've struggled with for a while. I've always been spontaneous with my decisions, an "act now, think later" kind of person which is definitely not what I'm called to be. James 1:19 says "...let every person be quick to hear and slow to speak..." This can be applied to conversations with others, and even waiting on God. I am learning to be be quick to listen for his voice and direction, and slow to make up my mind on big decisions.
I am ready to do God's work, and I hope that that doesn't sound vain. I should have always been ready, everyone who is a follower of Christ should always be ready to do His work and to say to God "Hey, I'm ready now!" is along the lines of telling God, the creator of the universe, what to do. That's not what I'm trying to say. I've had a hard heart; I have been trying to do everything my way, and by God's grace and work in me I am becoming malleable. I am finally ready to give Him my WHOLE heart, like I should have from the beginning.

Letting Go

I tried to rescue a bird today. I found her in the middle of my street when I was returning from an evening walk. I thought she might have a broken wing or something along those lines, but it turned out that the poor thing had had its eyes pecked out. Big sores covered her face where he eyes would have been and a large blood blister was on her beak. The bird was sitting smack in the middle of the road and I couldn't just leave her there to be hit by a car, so I went and got a shoe box and cut some holes in the top. I laid a paper towel in the bottom and I went out and retrieved her. She didn't want anything to do with me, and I'm not surprised. She wouldn't have been able to tell if I was there to harm her or help her; she couldn't see and I don't even know if she could hear. I went to a pet store near my home and bought an eyedropper thinking that maybe I could get her some water at least, but when I tried to use it on her, she wouldn't even open her beak. She was frightened and stressed and I couldn't bear to keep the helpless bird trapped in a shoebox for the rest of what will probably be a short life. I took her down to the overgrown vegetable garden in our back yard and set her free just on the edge of it. It only took a moment, but she soon hopped away into the bushes and I couldn't see her anymore.

I can sit here and hope that that bird will learn to survive with no eyes and a very small range of flight, but I know better. All I wish for is that she doesn't suffer long, that she may be put out of her misery quickly. I wanted to save this bird today. I wanted that win, because for whatever reason it feels like it's been a while. I wanted to be there for her, to fix her, but I had to let her go because a life in captivity is no life for a bird who's only ever known freedom. My day involved a little more drama than just the bird excitement, and I'm thinking that through both situations, God is teaching me a little about letting go. About being okay with not being able to fix everything. Because maybe I'm a little like that bird. I may be beat up, but with God, I've only ever known peace and freedom, and being confined and held captive by sin and the illusion that I have to power to fix things is just a joke. God is in control; God has the power; God is freedom from all of the pain and sin. God just is.

I Kind of Hate the Phrase...

..."Actions speak louder than words." Ok, yeah. I get it. Put your money where your mouth is. Don't say something without backing it up. Faith without works is dead. But really, we have to remember that this phrase contains two key things: actions AND words. If you're running around doing things but you've never said the words that make the actions important, the actions won't have meaning. For example: If you give me a hug and to YOU that means "I sure do appreciate you" but you've never said those words to begin with- the action will have no meaning to me. It will be just another hug and I will be left feeling as though I'm not appreciated. "Actions speak louder than words, when words have been said" is more accurate for me. I don't know why I'm writing a whole ranting post here, but I've heard the phrase so much lately and I don't have the best track record with people who throw it around but don't live by it. Now I'm certainly not saying that I am completely innocent. What I AM saying is that it feels like people can take the phrase for granted sometimes and forget that words are just as important when paired with what you do. Just like we've learned, the old saying "stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is not necessarily true- words can almost do more lasting damage- we must also learn that words carry meaning, and actions are the follow through. I'm not denying the strength of the phrase either, don't get me wrong, so to wrap up, here's a mental image for you: I'm serving a tennis ball, and I toss it up in the air and let it drop. Toss it up, let it drop. But I never bring the raquet down and hit the ball across the net. The anticipation is there, you WANT me to follow through and hit the ball, but I don't. I recognize the power behind the follow through, but without the initial toss into the air, the follow through would be rendered useless.

Seriously...

I know it can be therapeutic and all to cry and let out those emotions, but seriously... sometimes I get so frustrated. Why am I crying? What have *I* to cry about?? And why can't I stop crying? Goodness gracious, when I get started it just won't stop. And it can be triggered by as little as a bunny sneeze and will continue on because a thousand other things pop into mind along the way. I know why I started tonight...I think, but that's just as annoying. I know what started it, so logically, I should be able to shut it down. But nope. Water works it is. 

Sometimes, being a girl is just too overwhelming. Seriously.

A Second Chance

I’d like a do-over, a second chance. All of my grandparents have passed away. My maternal grandmother died shortly before I turned three from a heart attack, and her husband died when I was 14, the summer before I started high school, due to liver disease. My paternal grandma died three years ago in August in her sleep, and her husband of 60 years followed shortly after in October the same way. When I say I want a do-over, I mean that I want the chance to appreciate these people. I was not quite old enough to fully understand them or what they each had to offer me when they passed.

I only have one memory of my Grandma Barcheski, the one who passed when I was very young. I can remember digging in her purse for some gum, Juicy Fruit specifically, and taking a piece once I found it. I recall my mother telling me that wasn’t polite to do, and I needed to ask first next time and Grandma just said something along the lines of “Oh, she’s fine. I have plenty to share.” I really wish I could remember more of her, I wish I had time at all to glean wisdom from this woman who raised my mother. I grew up with my Grandpa Barcheski around the most, as the other set of grandparents lived in Missouri. My mom tells me that when she was growing up, he was very stern and he expected a lot. As I knew him, he was pretty laid back. He donated a lot of money and did a lot of volunteer work for the Variety Club of Iowa and he worked for Iowa Realty for a period of time taking pictures of houses for ads. I remember riding around in his car with him reading off addresses so he would know where to go next. He was fiercely protective of me too, I remember that. If I wanted something, big or small, he got it for me or promised it to me. He made sure that I was taken care of. One of the last things he said before he lost his ability to speak completely was about me; wanted me to have his leather jacket because I looked cold. I didn’t appreciate the things my grandpa did for me, I wasn’t old enough to understand that in those moments he was showing his love and teaching me. I wish I had the chance now to ask him about his life, ask him what he knew and what he had seen. He traveled so much and he knew so many people, I can only imagine the knowledge this man held. I wish I had the opportunity to thank him, because I am certain I didn’t do it enough while he was here.

While I saw my Grandpa Barcheski more, I think I was closer to my father’s parents. One week of every summer since I can remember, I would go down to their home in Missouri and hang out with them. They lived just over the state line, about 20 minutes from Unionville and 40 minutes from Kirksville. They lived on a large piece of land that was surrounded by pasture and forest on all sides and their home was a restored and remodeled school house. The home that I grew up in was the home that they had lived in with their four children and numerous foster children. My Grandpa Green dug the basement out by hand of that house, and proceeded to do the same for their Missouri home. Grandma cooked and when she wasn’t cooking she always had a project to work on or cleaning to do. My grandma could be a sharp woman at times, but I knew that she cared and I knew that she loved me immensely. I wish now that I could ask her about her life growing up. About her childhood; about falling in love with my grandpa. I wish that I could thank her for introducing me to the Church and for giving me a significant amount of money to go on my first mission’s trip. This woman was an essential key to my salvation, and I rest despite all of these wishes knowing I will see her in Heaven again one day. While my grandma could be short and quick tempered, I never heard my grandpa so much as raise his voice. He was one of the most gentle and genuine people I have ever known. He had these little phrases that would just make you smile even if you were in a terrible mood: “You sleep like log?” and “You sure are a pretty girl”. I can still hear the inflection in his voice when he would say “In Jesus name, Amen” when he would pray over a meal. Until the day he died, despite the Alzheimer’s and the constant pin-pricking pain in his shoulder, he was sweet and smart and witty. As with my grandma, I wish I could ask him about his life and about the places he saw when he was a soldier. I wish I could ask them all for advice now and then. I wish I could have had that type of relationship with all of my grandparents. I’m sitting here running through the memories and they still sting sometimes; they still are bittersweet. But the truth is that I did have time with each and every one of them, and I have a memory of every one of them, which is more than some can say. No, my grandparents didn’t live to see me be baptized, graduate high school, or start college and they won’t be around to see me get married and have my own children, but they live in my heart- no matter how cheesy that sounds.

I think I can learn a lesson from every single one: Be generous and pour out your heart to everyone you meet. Take care of the people you love with a fierce loyalty. It is better to build and make something from scratch than take the easy way out, because it will always give you a better sense of accomplishment and it will build character. Always remember to smile and be the person everyone can count on for a boost. And above all else, trust and rest in God always.

A Thousand Years

Everyone has heard this song, and if you haven’t, you should. It’s heartbreaking but it’s so beautiful at the same time. “1000 Years” by Christina Perri. Do it. Now. Then come back and read this. Or listen to it as you read. Whatever, just do it! This past weekend, two of my dear friends got married and I bawled like a baby. This was their song and it was absolutely perfect.

Prior to this wedding, I was worried. I was nervous that I would be overtaken by jealousy or anger, because who is not just a little jealous when a friend takes such a huge, important, and beautiful step before you do? Some of these nerves had to do with seeing my ex for only the second time since our break up, but after talking to him the day before the wedding, things felt better. It didn’t take more than 5 minutes of sitting in the pews at church for my selfish feelings to melt away. As the grandparents were brought in to the song “Love Like Crazy” by Lee Brice, I started to tear up. And when the groomsmen walked in to escort the bridesmaids to the front to an instrumental version of “1000 Years”, a few tears slipped out. I can tell you that the moment that Rachel came through those doors to the full-fledged song, I broke down. She was so perfect and so beautiful and I was so incredibly happy for her and for Brandon and the journey they were about to embark on. The ceremony was beautiful, simple, and elegant. The couple wrote their own vows, another moment for tears, and they lit a unity candle together after signing their marriage license. I cannot begin to explain the joy I felt in my heart to see those two share their first kiss as man and wife and know that God had brought together a wonderful pair.

With Brandon being a Star Wars fan, the couple excited the church under a tunnel of lightsabers and to the sound of one of the most commonly recognized themes from the saga, to their surprise however. I have it on good authority that the couple had joked about this being the way they left the ceremony, but it was the wedding party who made it happen. The reception was equally as wonderful and included a full meal, delicious cake, and some great dancing. Brandon’s best man and Rachel’s maid of honor shared some heartwarming toasts and we all enjoyed a very sweet song that Brandon wrote for his new bride. I was sad to see the party come to an end, but I was also so glad that I had been able to enjoy it as much as I did.

Brandon and Rachel- I love you both to no end. I am so proud of you and I absolutely cannot wait to see what God is going to do through your lives. You make each other happy and anyone can see that when they catch one of the glimpses you two share so often. I am blessed to know you and have you in my own life as role models and as friends. Congratulations on your new adventure!

A sample of writing: THEM

This is a piece of writing that I started today. Maybe this will be as far as it goes, or maybe it will grow into something more. I was having a hard time with my emotions, so I finally decided to open up a word document and start typing. As you'll read, it takes a dark turn and it goes somewhere that I wasn't expecting. It felt good to write it out though, and it's actually what gave me the idea for a blog. I'm hoping I've stumbled across a therapeutic technique for myself. 

You know how sometimes you’ll have a thought that triggers a memory that reminds you of something you need to do that makes you think of that thing you did once that makes you have a great idea and then- - - you’re right back at the beginning with a new memory? That’s how my brain works, all of the time. Constantly running, continuously reminding me of things I already know or am trying hard to forget. Sometimes I really wish I had a switch. You know, one of those big comical ones you see in cartoons? The ones with the big flashing red light and the sign that says “BY ALL MEANS, DO NOT FLIP THIS SWITCH”? I wish I had one of those, I wish it were that easy. See, it takes a lot for me to push aside all of the chaos that happens inside of me and put on a half-way normal face with which to face the rest of the world. And all of that crazy, non-stop chatter? Well, when it doesn’t get enough attention from me, it kind of takes on a life of its own. It turns to solid sludge that slows me down and adds 1,000 pounds and it finds nooks and crannies to seep out of. Maybe it’s through my words or my actions and I’ll lash out at someone who deserves nothing but love and respect, or maybe it will make itself known in the form of pessimism and leak its way into my social life so that everyone knows my problems. Sometimes, it even morphs into a more deadly form and threatens to overtake me completely. The sad part is, there’s something that is actually kind of appealing about dark nothingness; something that is so alluring and tempting that I almost take the bite of the apple. I know better though. I know not to trust the Sludge because it’s only made up of lies and doubt, and what kind of peace can deceit really give me? If there is one thing to know, it’s this: the Sludge is the King of lies. Just when you think you may have finally found your way around it, and you’ve beaten back the hurt, it will turn on a dime. It will whisper in your ear and say “Hey now, you’ve got it all wrong. I was just trying to test you, to prepare you for what may come. How could you think that I would ever turn on you?” And you know what? You’ll believe it. You’ll start questioning your own thoughts and your own decisions. You’ll start to wonder if you have ever made the right choice, and you’ll most likely settle on the conclusion that no, you never have. Let me tell you, it’s a short slippery slope once you let the Darkness in. Once you allow that pain and doubt to sink in and take root, it becomes a long, hard, uphill battle to breathe fresh air. The Darkness will settle around your feet, weighing each step, trying to convince you to stop moving at all because each movement is a battle and a struggle after all. That is when the Darkness does its best work, when you give up the fight and become still. It will wind its way up into your heart like the wicked snake that it is and send its venom into the furthest reaches of your body. That is when nothingness seems to be the best option, because who would want to live with the pain of constant poison coursing through your veins? Who would willingly allow that to happen instead of putting it all to a permanent end? That is what the Sludge that rots in your brain wants you to think. That is what the Darkness that hardens your heart begs for. That is how they trick you: they convince you that there is only one escape. They take away the light and make you believe it never existed in the first place.

The beginning...

I was born in December almost 20 years ago and I honestly cannot believe how fast the time has gone. Some days I wish I could be eight years old again, completely oblivious to the hectic world around me. I am old enough to remember where I was when the twin towers were attacked-- in my living room watching Rolie Polie Olie, for those of you who were curious, but I am young enough that I don't remember the scandal that revolved around President Clinton. I learned a lot from my grandparents while they were around and I am continuously learning from my peers and my parents. I hope to capture some of that wisdom here, and some of my life experiences. I graduated from high school in 2012 and I just finished my freshman year at Iowa State University. I am both excited and frightened by what my future holds, but if I have learned anything so far, it's to live in this moment right now and absorb as much of it as I possibly can.

The place that I will bring my children into some day will no doubt consist of less tangible things like books and photo albums, so I hope to let this serve as a type of diary. I want to provide myself and future generations with a glimpse into the past. As our dear Andy Bernard so eloquently put it, "I wish there was a way to know you were in the good ol' days before you actually left them". I'm not sure I've reached those days yet, but I hope that when I look back on this in years to come, I can point to a place in time and say "Yep! There it is! That was a great time".