I've been rereading some of my old posts, stuff from a few years ago, and I'm trying really hard not to be embarassed by it. I was such an entirely different person in 2013 than I am today. My thoughts, my worldview, my opinions...they have all be drastically altered by my life experiences and the people who I have interacted with.
I'm almost ashamed of some of my thoughts, because I know who I was. I know that I was part of the Church and I know that I mostly blindly followed along, believing whatever was taught on Wednesday night and Sunday morning. I never thought for myself, and now I question it all. Going through sophomore year and losing all sense of who I was and what made me who I am, I was so lost. I felt like a failure because I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin, and I certainly didn't feel comfortable in church anymore.
Today, I stand tall and resolute. I have a pretty good idea of who I am and what I stand for. I know that love is love, and that's not something you can put bounds on. I know that drinking with your friends, or even on your own is not the worst thing in the world you can do. I know that having sex before marriage, be it with one person or 20, doesn't make you a sinner. All of these things and many, many more experiences make you a human being. I'm trying not to be embarassed by my past, because that's also a real part of me and it shaped who I am today. I think it's an important lesson to learn: that where I came from and who I am today can exist in the same universe. I think it's still going to take some time to make that thought stick in my head, but I'm trying.
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