You'll Think of Me

The past couple days it seems like I've caught a glimpse of myself as a girlfriend from the outside and it makes me angry. 

I feel lost and inadequate. I feel foolish. None of those things are from anything Noah has done. It's because I don't know how to handle situations. I feel too needy. I feel like I should be floating through this period of time totally fine and like it's wrong that I'm still sad. 

I kind of hate that it's easy for him. And I know that's awful, but the fact that he has new things to do and look forward to and I'm still just sitting here...I don't know. This is a rambling post. I'm not making much sense.

The other thing not helping is that I've lost my motivation to work out and I feel gross. I know Noah is going to look great and that adds to the feelings of inadequacy. He deserves someone who's going to look great and care for their body.

I'm not feeling body or mind positive the past few days. I've been very hard on myself and it's making me sad.