Divergent

I recently read the book and saw the movie Divergent. When I first saw the movie, before I read the book, the movie kind of threw me off for a couple of days. I realized something about myself.

The Hunger Games, Divergent, The Uglies, or any other rebellion-based story, they all feature young women who are ordinary. Who live in their world and accept the way things are, and by some random chance, they are thrown into the middle of some extraordinary circumstances and they morph into this brave and courageous heroine that saves the day and brings hope to everyone. I realized that that will never be me. I will never be a Katniss, or a Tris, or a Shea. I will always be that person in the background who gets trampled out. Who doesn't rise to be more that she thought she could be. I am the ordinary girl with no special talents. Those stories don't inspire be to be the best version of my self, they make me feel worse about who I am, realizing that I am not the heroine of my story.

I certainly would never be divergent, I would fit perfectly into one of the factions and I would follow along with the story just exactly how I was supposed to.

I'm aware that this is a highly depressing post. I think this is me coming to terms with my depression again and realizing how quickly and easy it overtakes. Maybe some time in the future I will have the confidence to write a post about how I won't be that girl who falls behind. How I will push on and force myself to be better that who I am now. But in this moment, I don't have the strength.