I feel like usually around this point I start to feel like tracking every item is just too tedious, and I inevitably fall off, thinking I'll just track the big things or maybe I'll just take a break for a couple days and then come back. I'm trying not to think of tracking as a chore or as something that is there to guilt me.
Something I definitely like more than the WW system is that I can have a night where I go a little off, but when the new day begins there is no visual reminder of it. No negative point total staring at me until my week rolls over. It's a new day, a new start. The one night where I had a little extra fun might delay my overall goal by a day or two or three, but that's NOTHING, and I don't need to be guilted or reminded of it all week.
When I weighed myself yesterday, I was conflicted with my feelings. On one hand, I was excited to see the scale continue to trend downward. On the other, I was disappointed that it wasn't by much. In my brain, I do know that ultimately, it's better to go half a pound or so at a time. A slow, long journey is the way to actually keep the weight off in addition to other benefits like allowing my body time to adjust and having potentially less loose skin at the end of it all. Somewhere else in there though, is a part that is screaming that I should be losing MORE and doing it NOW. This is the part that wants me to be down 30 pounds by the wedding in September so I can talk about my success and how proud I am and hear the compliments, but not the part that wants to feel strong and confident every moment along the way.
Originally, i was going to wait until July to adjust my calorie deficit, however after looking over my last two weeks of data, I think I'm definitely able to handle cutting down by another 100 calories per day. I've mostly been eating between 1700-1800 calories each day anyway with not much struggle continuing to feeling hungry, so I decided to drop my daily goal to 1700 and I'll do that for the next week or so to see how it feels. I also plan to add in exercise next week, just 20-30 minutes of movement per day, 5 days each week. That's a walk around the block, or a short home workout. I am not expecting much, and I want it to feel like a part of my day that I look forward to because it makes me feel better, not a part I dread. If all goes well, I will probably be adding calories back in to supplement the extra energy I will be using to workout.
Do I want to see the numbers on the scale fall away rapidly? For sure. But just as it took me 10 years to gain 95 pounds, it's going to take more time than 2 weeks to see major change. If I stick with my current plan of tracking my meals and moving my body, I'm going to see change. I just need to be patient and persevere. I need to focus on more Non-Scale Victories when I am feeling down about the specific numbers I see. Hopefully this journey won't take me another 10 years to reverse, but I do want to focus on patience and gratitude between here and the finish line.
My current long-term goal: Lose approximately 83 pounds to get to a base weight of 125 lbs by my 30th birthday (542 days).
My current short-term goal: Lose approximately 8 pounds to be under 200 by B & A's wedding (86 days).
NSVs This Week and Last:
1. Almost no heartburn before bed for the last two weeks!
2. Almost no headaches that came out of nowhere/after eating junk.
3. Feeling more well rested overall in the mornings.
4. Feeling like I've been in a better general headspace about my body and how it looks.
5. Been looking forward to tracking meals to see how it will all puzzle together.
An edit:
Not even 20 minutes after posting this I did a little more math regarding my calories needed for maintenance if I remain sedentary vs if I add in weekly light exercise. If I don't exercise at all and maintain my mostly sedentary lifestyle, I am still at a slight caloric deficit eating at 1800 calories each day. Over time, this will still lead to weight loss, albeit very slow. If I add in 5 days/week of exercise, suddenly I'm at 600 calorie deficit each day. I think based on this, it's smarter for me to remain at 1800 calories per day instead of adjusting anything. Depending on my hunger levels and if I find myself plateauing, I can add in more calories from there, but as it is I am finding it comfortable to eat at the 1800 mark.
I do plan to add in SOME movement, so it's not necessary for me to make up a larger deficit in less calories. I feel good about knowing that even if I only get 3 or 4 days of exercise in each week, I will still be making a bigger difference. I think this was the motivation I needed to get moving!
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