Going Hiking- June 18, 2022

I haven't been out to Ledges in a couple years now. I remember one of the first ever YouTube videos I made was a vlog out at the state park, walking around during finals week. This would have been Spring of 2019, and at that time I was still thinking I'd be in Florida by the end of Summer on my third DCP.

Anyway, Kenny and I have been to Ledges to walk around together once, and we camped there one other time as well. This was back during that first summer though, in 2020. It is important to me that I start exercising in ways that I really enjoy. Hiking and playing tennis are the two that immediately come to mind. So when Kenny asked what I wanted to do this weekend, going for a small hike immediately came to mind. Outdoors, in the fresh air, moving my body.

I was feeling really confident today after making a delicious breakfast and feeling refreshed after my shower, and even kind of pleasantly surprised that my workout shorts still fit (mostly). But then, I must have looked in the mirror one too many times, because then the doubt and mean started to creep in.

"You look like a boy with a hat on." 

"Your face has become so round."

"You don't look like the cute girls on Insta when they go out to exercise."

I changed tops a couple of times, but then I was too warm even still inside the house. So I put the damn tank top back on, because I deserve to be comfortable on a hot day. And I resolved to stop looking in the mirror because it wasn't doing me any good. No one is even looking at me anyway. I also decided I needed to make a list of 7 things that I currently enjoy or love about myself. I'd like to make that a habit- when the thoughts get mean and unhelpful, make lists of things that are positive and uplifting.

1. I've really come to enjoy the sound of my own laugh.

2. I'm really proud of myself for becoming more financially responsible so far this year.

3. I really like the way my hair looks right after I've showered and it's got some shape and volume.

4. I still really like my curvy figure from the front, I feel very feminine.

5. I love my combination of nose ring and septum ring.

6. I am proud of myself for doing a 5k this spring, that was very cool.

7. I'm proud of myself for going out and exercising when I could have stayed home and sat on my butt all day.

"We're all just wearing bodies like costumes until we die." Two- Flock of Dimes