This morning I got off to a bad start immediately because the scale had gone up. It's so silly because it's only by .6, so not much at all, a totally normal fluctuation. I had it in my head though that I would continue to see the scale trend down as I have all week long. There are many things that could have contributed to a jump upwards, the main two I can think of being inflammation from my sore muscles and not having a great night's sleep.
I really do like having a graph and a total picture of my overall weight trend to look back on. I can see that two weeks ago I was steadily in the 209 range, while now I'm solidly in the 207 range. A small change, but a trend in the right direction nonetheless. I've clocked in at 206.8 three times now, so I know I'm getting close to a solid 206 number as well.
However, all of that aside I need to work on viewing the number each morning as a clinical exercise and not as a true positive or negative. Is a trend downward desirable? Yes, fat loss is the goal. However, my body is always adjusting and day to day is not a reliable way to gauge real definite change.
Today I am tired from poor sleep, I am on day 3 or so of my period, and I am dealing with extremely sore muscles. Of course I can expect to see some fluctuations. The fact that I haven't all week up to this point is actually pretty amazing. Staying the course and not veering off into "well, I might as well binge" or "I need to restrict MORE now" is the most important thing I can do. Slow and steady wins the race. Each day that I show up for myself and stay on track mentally and physically is a day above and beyond any other where I gave up and threw it all away.
If I'm being honest, I think that I am also feeling somewhat frustrated that I have been in this same weight range of 2-3 lbs since I started tracking my food 6 weeks ago. I am trending down, but I want to be OUT of the 207-209 range. I'm so close to hitting that 5 pound mark and I just want that satisfaction. I want to start to see changes and feel better, but so far it's been a lot of eating good during the week and blowing it off on the weekend. I thought the weight would come off quicker.
Maybe now that I'm adding in consistent exercise and focusing on protein over carbs and fat, I will begin to see some bigger changes. I want it to take time, I want it to be sustainable. Yet some part of my brain has still been conditioned to seek immediate gratification and even though this is the longest I've ever attempted to lose weight or eat better consciously and I'm proud of that, I'm losing steam and motivation. I know soon I'm going to have to dig deep and rely on my "Why" to keep me pushing through this first (of what I assume will be many) wall.
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